Humans are complicated. I would suggest you pass! I'd just say "hey, don't really fancy wandering about in the current climate, I'd like to have a firm plan on where we are meeting. You can perhaps respond and suggest an Italian lunch and glass of wine. Probably the most common ask in the networking world these days is, “Can I buy you a cup of coffee to pick your brain?” Most people think they’re being nice by offering to buy your $4 latte—but don’t realize that a “quick coffee meeting” can take an hour or more out of your day. Don't fancy getting into an argument just we are meant to meet but just fed up that it always has to be what suits her. If there's somewhere you want to go we'll meet there, otherwise make it [place on high street]"exactly. With covid it is not really the time for wandering about so I'll see you at (your suggestion) at (time) then. If the magic isn’t there, don’t fib – just let her know that you enjoyed having the chance to meet her and that you had a nice time. Talk widget showing discussions of the day & trending threads, Subscribe to Mumsnet emails direct to your inbox. Please be polite to guys and don’t do what you just said. How are you? She stresses about getting somewhere first, or walking into a busy cafe on her own and new places can freak her out a bit but if we all head there together it's easier for her. But Are you free for coffee on Thursday? When picking the perfect place to get coffee, the most important qualities to consider are the location, the spatial dynamics, and the vibe. No response after casually asking for a coffee date via text? This is a great way to indicate to him you didn’t agree to go out just because you had nothing else to do. 5. No thanks, I want to do this. Maintain eye contact, smile, and keep your stance open. Go Ice Skating, Take a Dance Lesson or Try a Pottery Class. Don’t Do Coffee. In that moment of frustration and hurt, it can be easy to forget that we all lead complicated lives. 11. Be honest with him that … Then ensure you are sat down with a drink when she arrives. I like [x place] so let's meet there at [time]. If she can’t find it that’s her problem! Creating a theme inspires a more interesting date – you could commit to practicing a little Italian! “If time is working against you, ask them to coffee!” she says. Your coffee date is an opportunity for you to really get to know your date, and a chance for you to make a great impression and move on to the second date. How to respond to a canceled date. How you respond to a guy's request to take you on a date depends on how you feel about him, whether you are interested in dating anyone at the moment and if he is your type. Tell him that you’ll make your date a top priority. Saying "sure" just implies I have no backbone and will do whatever she says. Meeting two friends this weekend , one of them always has to have her way and find it a bit grating. XSend that. Avoid looking away, frowning, or crossing your arms. It's not meant to be a drawn out meeting - that's for the actual date. She felt perfectly ok with just saying straight out to you - no, can we do X?So you should be the same with her. Your response can alter the nature of your relationship and can also send ripples through your social circle if you and the guy in question share mutual friends, acquaintances or co-workers. Scheduling a Saturday or Sunday late afternoon coffee date is great so that it can turn into a dinner date. If she can’t find it that’s her problem! Even at a high-end coffee shop, you won’t be spending more than $20 on a coffee date, and that’s probably with a treat to split. All of the above send the message that while you agreed to go on the date, you might not be looking forward to it. There's nothing wrong with just being exactly the same as she's been to you. I can either meet you at X cafe or Y location, unless you want to go somewhere else? The only time you should file him under "YES!" First dates are about getting to know people. 2. Cultivating the right amount of patience and understanding can make all the difference in the long run. He will also be delighted that you’re keen to go out with him. An after work or dinner coffee date allows you to go in and out and gives you the chance to meet face to face without the pressure or awkwardness by stating and knowing in advance the amount of time that you have. fly_shy_guy. This isn't the first time otherwise I wouldn't mind,don't really know what to reply. There can be no better way than a carefully planned coffee date. Be honest with him that you were surprised, but also that you’re pleased. It has happened to most of … Thanks for meeting me … "I'd rather not mess about. This is page 1 of 4 (This thread has 88 messages.). His point was that walking up to someone and bluntly asking them on a date it too forward and intimidating. If cost is a concern, choose reasonable spots or have happy hour or coffee dates. But because it's not a 'posh area' I don't think it's 'good enough' for her.It's only 10 minutes away from hers too. I know it sounds such a trivial thing, I'm more than happy to be easy going but I don't want it to constantly be like this. Truly getting to know each other should be kept for the dates themselves, with text conversations more to do with maintaining that connection between dates and to organize those future dates. We asked guys to share their tips on the matter and, based on what they shared, present five ways to respond and make his heart go pitter-patter. Plan a walk, mini-golfing, a bingo night, or to go dancing. No anxiety that I know of as she's more than happy to meet at other places that she's suggested herself, the other friend hasn't said anything, it just always has to be on her terms whatever it is and another friend has previously commented on it. It takes a whole 20 minutes to drink a coffee, even with the best conversationalist for company. Coffee dates translate as casual; therefore, the act of making an effort to get prepared and ready for a date doesn’t apply when you are meeting for coffee. 1. Yeah, it's just ridiculous. Find out where the other friend wants to go and just present it as sorted - 2 against 1. If you want him to feel the same kind of excitement, you should make his heart skip a beat with the way you respond back. To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet. lol Attractive Response After You've Been Asked Out, 5 Ways to Let Him Know You Have No Plans for Your Day Off, 9 Times a Boyfriend Will Rediscover His Feelings for His Long-Term Girlfriend, 9 Methods Girls Use to Increase Their Sex Appeal that Send Guys Running in the Other Direction, 7 Ways Your Profile Page Is Scaring Him Away. Letting them question if things went as well as they thought, followed by positive affirmation the next morning, shows that you're interested but not overly eager. If you’re not into sex on the first date (or even the third), a coffee date gives you a buffer. If you don’t then say, “- No, I am not interested” and let them move on. Coffee is a quick date. ""No thanks. Can you nicely send a screenshot from Google Maps of where the place is and tell her you will see her there at midday and say if she still wants to look round, you can do so once you’ve met there. "Shall we just meet somewhere else and then look round? Get ready to learn all you need to know about planning the perfect coffee house excursion for you and your future love to get acquainted. So I met this girl in my class 1 week ago and we got together pretty well and I got her number. Input greatly appreciated! 0 0. You can suggest going for dinner, and then you’ve had an amazing date that lasts for several hours. It's not a problem with myself or any other of her friends because we like her and want to include her. Are you free? If there's somewhere you want to go we'll meet there, otherwise make it [place on high street]". Does she suffer from anxiety at all? She had to control and micromanage everything, and would have a strop of she didn't get her way. Think of a coffee date as a quick "interview" where you get to screen a guy before taking things to the next level. Sign up to test new midwifery service Juno, Your questions about food allergies and intolerances have been answered by the Food Standards Agency, Ask the Food Standards Agency experts your questions about use by dates. It’s exciting when a guy you’re interested in sends you a message to ask you out on a date. An issue from last time?". So don’t do them. This date idea indicates a man who loves a sense of adventure and has a great sense of fun. Don’t fancy looking around’. The best part of a 4 p.m. coffee date on a Sunday that actually goes well? However, if she makes a wishy-washy suggestion like “Let’s get coffee sometime this… year,” then it may be a sign that she’s not interested in seeing you. Don’t fancy looking around’. Laughing and a light touch can also help demonstrate that you’re interested in them. Yes You could even say. When in doubt, have a second date. IF IT'S A "NO": Give them honor and respect, but don't lead them on. We asked guys to share their tips on the matter and, based on what they shared, present five ways to respond and make his heart go pitter-patter. LOS ANGELES, June 9, 2012—One of the worst aspects of dating is when a date is canceled, especially on the day of the date. doesn’t give someone much to respond to. The essentials being that the coffee date takes place in … Is there something wrong with where I suggested? Let them know where you are so they aren't left guessing. If so, just let me know and I'll meet you there..". 1. Be honest – if you’d like to see her again, say so and ask if she’d like to get together again. Was chatting with J.J. yesterday about girls contacting you out of the blue with a, “Hey, what’s up! Enter the People’s Guide to a Brilliant Coffee Date. A good first date is a lot like tequila: It makes you do stupid shit. These contacts – whether by text, phone, social media, email, or what have you – out of the blue always seem exciting; they’re like free dates (or even a free hook "Coffee" is used as a universal example because of the term "coffee break" at work. Assuming your other mate will agree to meet where you’d like would respond along the lines of “would still prefer to meet at [X place - original place], suggest we all meet there at [X time]. Sometimes dates can be awkward, but when there’s a lot to see, there’s even more to talk about together. How to respond to this re coffee meeting. Follow. I have a secret I need to spill (divorce and home related), AIBU for being unhappy about this change in school dinners, I accidentally shoplifted - advice needed, I don't enjoy sex and never have, and the only time it's been worth it was when I was TTC, Are you pregnant? Don't give her the opportunity to control the situation. Coffee is Quick. All Rights Reserved. Read last 2 paragraphs for the main question. "I'd rather not mess about. 5. Nah...let’s stick to (cafe) as it’s easy to find. Twitter . Hobley suggests beginning with a coffee date rather than a more time-consuming dinner date. It's always 'do you want to come round mine/meet near mine' etc.I live on a busy main road with all sorts of cafés, bars etc. Invite her on another date. Eve she have few friends if she continues this pattern! She replied saying, 'shall we just meet somewhere else and then look round ?' I know I can't meet people in a place, but I am honest about the reason why. I was gonna ask if she has anxiety, my good friend feels a lot more relaxed and calm if we meet somewhere else first and then head to the place together. Oh gosh, she sounds exhausting. Heather Viets, a marriage and family therapist at web site PreEngaged, recommends you tell it like it is: Don’t make up lies, but be graciously honest. It is rather dismissive.Have you text her back yet? Pick the destination. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. Then I suggested a perfectly good place which is very hard to miss on the main street. The "friendship" didn't last long. Follow-up … "Why can't we just go to the place I suggested ?" He must have been nervous to ask you out, so it will be a relief for him to see you happy. Don’t hop and skip from one question to the next if their answers to your initial question deserve more exploration. I said in a jokey way that I felt like they thought my area was rough and she neither confirmed nor denied it. Right now, your #1 priority is to figure out if a guy falls under the "Uh, this isn't going anywhere" category so you can move on to the next date. For example, “Tell me about how you told your last coffee date that you weren’t interested in seeing them again?” may reveal a lot about the person. Looking forward to seeing you! Never meet for Coffee for a date ! It's only a small town centre, I suggested a place we have already been to and she asked if we can first meet somewhere else as she hasn't got a clue where it is. Xper 3. The more personal, the better. 'No I don't want to wander around, I'd like to meet at (cafe you suggested)'Blunt. If you had coffee, do something interactive. Let’s say 3pm. Your coffee date should be for the mid-late afternoon, an hour or so after lunch, or early evening an hour or so before dinner time. "Sorry but I dont really want to wander round town. We should get drinks/coffee and catch up!” message, and what this means / the right way to play it. The atmosphere of a coffee shop is perfect for watching people go about their daily lives outside. Thanks everyone I think I just won't bother in the future unless it's in a larger group as she can't necessarily have the monopoly then.She and her husband have hinted at my area being rough (it's perfectly fine but it's not upmarket), I invited her for a drink there once and she just said "Shall we go to X place near mine ?" "Don't engage. The exception to this rule is when the other person begins to write long responses to your texts. When I brought up the great “coffee date debate” with the boyfriend, it quickly devolved into an argument that is still being brought up whenever we’re out with friends. ©Copyright 2019 Great Love. Facebook. Examples:-I’d like to meet for a drink sometime if you’re interested.-Are you free for a date soon?-Let’s grab coffee sometime next week.-Want to have dinner on Tuesday?-Let me know if you want to go for a walk in Central Park. However, you should avoid repeatedly saying … Assuming your other mate will agree to meet where you’d like would respond along the lines of “would still prefer to meet at [X place - original place], suggest we all meet there at [X time]. does. First dates can be equal parts exciting and nerve-wracking, but, for some, navigating post-date communication is even more complicated. It's just a bit rude as well I find, like my suggestions aren't valid. In his own words, “Formality isn’t sexy, ambiguity is. Shutting her out for canceling one date is a little short-sighted and might cost you an amazing date in the future. I knew someone like this years ago. Grabbing a cup of coffee is merely sharing a table and conversing while eating or drinking something light together. might sound a bit aggressive and it will probably come across wrong. Don’t put them in your waiting list for bad times. Let’s say you couldn’t help but make the suggestion anyway because you’re the guy and you’re supposed to be the one doing the asking. “I wasn’t expecting you to ask me out, but it makes me so happy that you did.”. Ask good follow-up questions Show your date that you are really listening to them by asking smart follow-up questions. It's also perfectly acceptable to attend the meeting and decide you don't want to eat or drink anything. Some examples of compliments you could give include: “You’re so much fun to spend time with, but...” “You’ve been a great friend these past few months, but…” “You’re really thoughtful and nice to think of me, but…” You either want to go on a date with a guy now or not. Seems far more like a case of the bleeding awkward pain in the neck syndrome rather than anxiety to me.